“The strongest actions for a woman is to love herself, be herself and shine amongst those who never believed she could.” –Author Unknown
I was 16 years old when my father decided that a life of responsibility wasn’t for him. Absent for the majority of my existence, he had been planning his escape for quite some time; we were just too blind to see it. There it was. He got the life he so badly longed for; a free life to do what he wanted when he wanted. My mother on the other hand, was left to raise two daughters all on her own. Through this, I grew to despise him.
He abandoned us. He made me feel worthless, rejected and unloved. I convinced myself that if my own father didn’t love me, then no one else could. My heart was heavy; I was angry all the time and often took out rage on my mother and sister. I loathed myself for doing that. As time passed I started to pull away from people for fear of rejection. I trusted no one.
But, in August 2004 things slowly began to change when I started dating the love of my life. We were childhood friends and I could feel that things were different with him. He knew me. He knew my past and what my parents had gone through. There was no need hiding my feelings from him. I could cry when I needed to cry, and I yelled when I needed to yell. And through it, he loved and accepted me. With him I felt that day-by-day, piece-by-piece, my heart was beginning to mend.
And so, for the first time in a long time I was truly happy. I allowed myself to love and be loved and put trust into God’s plan for me. It was as if once I let go of all the anger, everything became so clear. We married in 2008 and now have two beautiful daughters.
Admittedly, I still struggle from time to time. When I see my husband with my daughters I often wonder what it would have been like to have a father who loves so wholeheartedly. But then, things quickly get put into perspective and I realize how blessed I am to have this little family of mine. I am slowly learning to accept what was and excited for what will be!
I know that my story isn’t going to change the world, but I do have this to offer. When your heart is consumed with hate, there is no room for anything else. Learn to let go. Trust in God and believe that you are worthy of love and happiness. I promise only good will come of it!
You guys, this story is amazing. Thelma shares, unknowingly perhaps, some of the heart of #rhitbi. I loved reading this story and seeing the redemptive love of Christ in it all. From beginning to present, it is clear that the love of God continues to win and prevail in her life and the life of her family.
"Trust in God and believe that you are worthy."
This statement is quite profound and requires a few choices on our part. In order to truly begin to understand how amazingly created we are and that we each, all of us, have an something amazing to share we have to trust and believe that God orchestrates it all.
This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. Hebrews 6:19
We can trust and hold secure to the Word of God and what it (He) tells us about ourselves.
On Monday, we will continue conversation about just this. Thelma, I am pretty sure that your story is doing more than just changing the world. Your story is effecting change in the heart of one. It's creating ripples in the lives of many. This tapestry you are weaving with your Creator is amazing. Oh, the stories you will tell, my love. Oh, the stories you will tell.
Please remember to keep the conversation going via social media and tell YOUR story. Tag #rhitbi to share you moments of freedom and to tell us how you're facing your fears and being brave one step, one moment, one day at a time.
To read more about Thelma and see more of her amazing gifts please be sure to pay a visit to her blog here.
Have an amazing weekend, friends!